Do you want to say no? How to decide it’s worth the effort

The reasons to say no and the consequences for not saying no are not always clear. The less clear the reasons, the more challenging it is to make the decision to say no. In the moment, you may not always have time, but here are some things to consider in general for why it is important to say no when you want to:

1. Consider the relationship

• Is this a person where not saying no now will lead them to believe you agree with something you don’t in the future?
• Will it lead to them asking you again because you said yes this time?
• Will you be faced with this same situation again?
• Is this a relationship where it serves you more to be agreeable than honest?

2. Is saying yes a lie?

• Will it come to light that you lied by saying yes when you wanted to say no?
• Will the other person feel badly because you weren’t honest?

3. What are the consequences of saying yes if you want to say no?

• Is there a time commitment?
• What will it cost you?
• Will you have to give up something you want or need? 

Start weighing the consequences of a yes when you mean no. It’s a practice so it won’t always be easy, but eventually you will find your reasons for saying no strong enough to voice it more often.